treasure hunt

It was one of those lazy summer days, today. That normally means no structure, a restless me, and crazy ideas.
Idea of the day: treasure hunt! Not the normal kind, though. I went gallavanting around my house looking for something to use my time with and I found gold.


an '83 Minolta X-700
a wonderful polaroid camera
plus some film for it

i'm so excited!

read this? haha!

Hey, all you followers of my ever so crazy, ADD mind! I hope all your lives are as great as a strawberry. Ok, now that my completely failed attempt at an introduction is done...

I walked to and from my house five days in a row the past five days. It was something completely new to my human body of this age! Well, that's actually a lie. I walk all the time. I love walking. Whether the words coming directly from my mind to my fingers are a lie or not, you should still go on a walk. It's 100% recommended from me. There is something about the smell of air that has to whole sea to move around in. ..Wait, that made no sense. You can't have air in water. That sentence right there was a failed attempt at being creative. I'm sorry.

Anyways, this whole walking bit is making me think of cars. I'm learning how to drive right now. It's so completely scary. I don't know if people actually realize the evil power they have when they have control of a car. It's true, I hope you know. I mean I could easily become a terrorist...not that I would become one. BUT, it is possible. Scary, huh? I need some help with this. I try to get the courage to go out and drive, but once I'm there and my mother is there...the courage is gone. My mom is a scary person to drive with. She makes all of these noises like I'm going to kill someone or her or myself or just about the whole world. That doesn't make for fun days and times. I need to start doing this thing, though. If I could drive, I probably wouldn't be sitting on the computer writing to the two people that read this. Yes, my life is so exciting..

Right now, I'm thinking that this would be more interesting if you could actually see my face. Maybe.. Oh, who am I kidding? I do not have an interesting life. I'm ending my attempt at being [pretend] famous right now. I'm going to draw.

I was thinking the other day. And what I thought was what if I was some online sensation like those random youtube people? I think it's actually quite comical how these random, ordinary people become "famous". Thus, I decided for my next piece of writing genius, I will be famous.

"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."

-Oscar Wilde

i love them

I haven't written here for a week.

This cutie little girl told me that I'm really pretty, today. She made me really happy. Her friend gave me her bracelet. It's so pink and girly with a pink butterfly in the middle. They are so adorable.

This is when I'm reminded of how much I love little children and all they have yet to live. It is also when I know that an Indian orphanage is where I want to be.

fabricated, I think not

I'm super joyful right now. It has nothing to do with the fact that it's summer. It has nothing to do with the fact that I talked about poo, and I laughed until I cried. It has nothing to do with the awesome sunglasses I bought the other day.
It's because of God. He has taken so much from me, and given me something so much better. If I didn't go through my parents divorce, I'm convinced that I would have never gone to skid row. I know I wouldn't want to help people like I do now. To love people like I do now. I would not have found the friendships I have found. I would not look at life the way I do now.
He is so great.
He's beautiful.
I love him so much.
I wish I could love him more than humanly possible.

the bug aftermath.

I have a person who is my twin.
We can talk and talk, all day long.
Yes, yes...she is my kin,
and together, forever, we belong.

Laughter consumes us
as we talk about poo.
It's quite funny to discuss
those things that concern the loo.

You, my child want a cowboy,
and I want so much to be in India.
Deep down in the south, you enjoy
Southern drawls and your couches from Ikea.

For leisure time you creep creep
and listen to Go Country 105.1
Your stalker ways keep sleep
away from all of the ones who are young.

Yet I love you with all my heart.
I hope we are never to be apart.
This friendship we did start,
It's like a beautiful work of art.

the bug

This girl, her name is Bex.
To me, she is like a sister.
She likes to act like a T-rex,
and search far and long for the mister.

This girl, I love her to death,
Even if she runs to her doom,
understands the tongue of Macbeth,
and has no baby in her womb.

Dr. Horrible is her thing,
always watching him and his freezeray.
Laughter she will bring
to me each and everyday.

Going down to skid row,
in the middle of the night,
her love she does show.
For God, she shines bright.

What a beautiful flower you are,
Being who God created you to be.
I love you and your peanut butter jar.
Oh, and thank you for loving me.

leedle, leedle

I don't know why, but I got a twitter account. What am I doing? I have no idea, but I'm going to have fun with it.

I'm a goof.

I like listening to some delicious tunes,
Dancing in my jammies.
Sometimes I'm running like a silly goon,
screaming like a banshee.
Gut wrenching belly laughter is my friend,
with my obliques crying in pain.
Seeing smiles places me in a state of zen,
Away from what contains the mundane.
If I wasn't me,
I'd sure love to see
Everything that I'll be.

according to what's below

People think they are indestructible. I don't even understand how.
Our bones break
we need blood transfusions
cancer infests our bodies
infections eat away at us
our livers fail
Can you really think that just because of one moment of glory and power, you are officially immortal? Right...
No matter what you think, you're not up there with God. If you think you are, he'll put you in your place. You're weak and you are so easily tempted. And God knows how to humble a person. He will show you who you really are, and then you'll run. From all you've lied to, even yourself.
Know you're below God, but know that you're also worth loving. You're also worth enough to love someone else.

That's what I get from this bunch of verses. Nahum is one of my favorite books in the Bible. It shows God's vengeance and discernment. But it also shows his love and mercy towards those he's created.

That's my thought for the day. So long.

"Woe to the city of blood, full of lies, full of plunder, never without victims! The crack of whips, the clatter of wheels, galloping horses and jolting chariots! Charging calvary, flashing swords and glittering spears! Many casualties, piles of dead, bodies without number, people stumbling over the corpses--all because of the wanton lust of a harlot, alluring, the mistress of sorceries, who enslaved nations by her prostitution and peoples by her witchcraft.
"'I am against you,' declares the Lord Almighty. 'I will show the nations your nakedness and the kingdoms your shame. I will pelt you with filth, I will treat you with contempt and make you a spectacle...'
"Nothing can heal your wound; your injury is fatal. Everyone who hears the news about you claps his hands at your fall, for who has not felt your endless cruelty?"
--Nahum 3:1-6, 19

I read this last night, I got to thinking about the fact that humans are not immortal. I'm just letting it all sink in before I write.

understand?

It's something that lies beyond what you can understand.

Out of the norm--that's what it is to the unknowing mind.

But have you ever tried to think outside of the obsession? Maybe the obsession is more than just that. It's a passion, pure and simple.

And guess what? This passion has a meaning. Just because it isn't a passion to get a tight car, or receive the best grades, or be pro at a certain sport doesn't mean it should be discounted. It has meaning whether or not it is understood.

So what, if it isn't understood now. In time, I'll look at you, and you will
understand. You will understand and wonder why it wasn't so clear before.

Instilled within me is a love for children and a love for India. With the passion God has given me, I can do his work. I can do it; I can love it too.

Is it so weird now?

"...but a warm heart exists."

I witnessed care last night.
I witnessed something I knew always existed.
I witnessed true love for God and his beautiful creation.
I became apart of it too, and I've never been apart of something so beautiful.
It was truly incredible and it was touched by God. He was everywhere.

When everyone else was sleeping peacefully in the wee hours of the morning, my heart filled with joy and love and hurt and whatever else on the streets of downtown LA. I can't even describe the way I felt. This place--Skid Row--it is the resting place of gorgeous people. I don't know what else to say.

placement

"take
me
above
your light.
carry
me
through
the
night.
hold
me
secure
in
flight.
sing
me
to
sleep
tonight."

"i felt the stars explode around me."