The Selfish Giant. (finished)

"All day long they played, and in the evening they come to Giant to bid him good-bye.

'But where is your little companion?' he said: 'the boy I put into the tree.' The Giant loved him the best because he had kissed him.

'We don't know,' answered the children; 'he has gone away.'

'You must tell him to be sure and come here tomorrow,' said the Giant. But the children said they did not know where he lived, and had never seen him before; and the Giant felt very sad.

Every afternoon, when school was over, the children came and played with the Giant. But the little boy whom the Giant loved was never seen again. The Giant was very kind to all the children, yet he longed for his first little friend, and often spoke of him. 'How I would like to see him!' he used to say.

Years when over, and the Giant grew very old and feeble. he could not play about anymore, so he sat in a huge armchair, and watched the children at their games, and admired his garden. 'I have many beautiful flowers,' he said; 'but the children are the most beautiful flowers of them all.'

One winter morning he looked out of his window as he was dressing. He did not hate the Winter now, for he knew that it was merely Spring asleep, and that the flowers were resting.

Suddenly he rubbed his eyes in wonder, and looked and looked. It certainly was a marvellous sight. In the farthest corner of the garden was a tree quite covered with lovely white blossoms. Its branches were all golden, and silver fruit hung down from them, and underneath it stood the little boy he had loved.

Downstairs ran the Giant in great joy, and out into the garden. He hastened across the grass, and came near to the child. And when he came quite close his face grew red with anger, and he said, "Who hath dared to wound thee?' For on the palms of the child's hands were the prints of two nails, and the prints of two nails were on the little feet.

'Who hath dared to wound thee?' cried the Giant; 'tell me, that I may take my big sword and slay him.'

'Nay!' answered the child; 'but these are the wounds of Love.'

'Who are thou?' said the Giant, and a strange awe fell on him, and he knelt before the little child.

And the child smile on the Giant, and said to him, You let me play once in your garden, today you shall come with me to my garden, which is Paradise.'

And when the children ran in that afternoon, they found the Giant lying dead under the tree, all covered with white blossoms."

--Oscar Wilde, 1888

The Selfish Giant. (cont.)

"One morning the Giant was lying awake in bed when he heard some lovely music. It sounds so sweet to his ears hat he thought it must be the King's musicians passing by. It was really only a little linnet singing outside his window, but it was so long since he had heard a bird sing in his garden that it seemed to him to be the most beautiful music in the world. Then the Hail stopped dancing over his head, and the North Wind ceased roaring, and a delicious perfume came to him through the open casement. 'I believe the Spring has come at last,' said the Giant; and he jumped out of bed and looked out.

What did he see?

He saw a most wonderful sight. Through a little hole in the wall the children had crept in, and they were sitting in the branches of the trees. In every tree that he could see there was a little child. And the trees were so glad to have the children back again that they had covered themselves with blossoms, and were waving their arms gently above the children's heads. The birds were flying about and twittering with delight, and the flowers were looking up through the green grass and laughing. It was a lovely scene, only in one corner it was still winter. It was the farthest corner of the garden, and in it was standing a little boy. He was so small hat he could not reach up to the branches of the tree, and he was wandering all round it, crying bitterly. The poor tree was still quite covered with frost and snow, and the North Wind was blowing and roaring above it. 'Climb up! little boy,' said the Tree, and it bent its branches down as low as it could; but the boy was too tiny.

And the Giant's heart melted as he looked out. 'How selfish I have been!' he said; 'now I know why the Spring would not come here. I will put that poor little boy on the top of the tree, and then I will knock down the wall, and my garden shall be the children's playground for ever and ever.' He was really very sorry for what he had done.

So he crept downstairs and opened the front door quite softly, and went out into the garden. But when the children saw him they were so frightened that they all ran away, and the garden became winter again. Only the little boy did not run, for his eyes were so full of tears that he did not see the Giant coming. And the Giant stole up behind him and took him gently in his hand, and put him up into the tree. And the tree broke at once into blossom, and the birds came and sang on it, and the little boy stretched out his two arms and flung them round the Giant's neck, and kissed him. And the other children, when they saw that the Giant was not wicked any longer, came running back, and with them came the Spring. 'It is your garden now, little children,' said the Giant, and he took a great axe and knocked down the wall. And when the people were going to the market at twelve o'clock they found the giant playing with the children in the most beautiful garden they had ever seen..."

henri cartier-bresson

i celebrate the day.

¹ In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. ²(This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) ³ And everyone went to their own town to register.

⁴ So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. ⁵He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. ⁶ While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born,⁷ and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

⁸ And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. ⁹ An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. ¹¹ Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ¹² This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

¹³ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

¹⁵ When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

¹⁶ So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. ¹⁷ When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, ¹⁸ and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. ¹⁹ But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. ²⁰ The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Luke 2:1-20

**and i, i celebrate the day that you were born to die, so i could one day pray for you to save my life.

The Selfish Giant.

"Every afternoon, as they were coming from school, the children used to go and play in the Giant's garden.

It was a large lovely garden, with soft green grass. Here and there over the grass stood beautiful flowers like stars, and there were twelve peach-trees that in the spring-time broke out into delicate blossoms of pink and pearl, and in the autumn bore rich fruit. The birds sat on the trees and sang so sweetly that the children used to stop their games in order to listen to them. 'How happy we are here!' they cried to each other.

One day the Giant came back. He had been to visit his friend the Cornish ogre, and had stayed with him for seven years. After the seven years were over he had said all that he had to say, for his conversation was limited, and he determined to return to his own castle. When he arrived he saw the children playing in the garden.

'What are you doing there?' he cried in a very gruff voice, and the children ran away.

'My own garden is my own garden,' said the Giant; 'any one can understand that, and I will allow nobody to play in it but myself.' So he built a high wall all round it, and put up a notice-board: TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED.

He was a very selfish Giant.

The poor children had now nowhere to play They tried to play on the road, but the road was very dusty and full of hard stones, and they did not like it. They used to wander round the high wall when their lessons were over, and talk about the beautiful garden inside. 'How happy we were there,' they said to each other.

Then the Spring came, and all over the country there were little blossoms and little birds. Only in the garden of the Selfish Giant it was still winter. The birds did not care to sing in it as there were now children, and he threes forgot to blossom. Once a beautiful flower put its head out from the grass, but when it saw the notice-board it was so sorry for the children that it slipped back into the ground again, and went off to sleep. The only people who were please ed were the Snow and the Frost. "Spring has forgotten this garden,' they cried, 'so we will live here all the year round.' The Frost painted all the trees sliver. Then they invited the North Wind to stay with them, and he came. He was wrapped in furs, and he roared all day about the garden, and blew the chimney-pots down. 'This is a delightful spot,' he said, 'we must ask the Hail on a visit.' So the Hail came. Every day for three hours he rattled on the roof of the castle sill he broke most of the slates, and then he ran round and round he garden as fast as he could go. He was dressed in grey, and he breath was like ice.

'I cannot understand why the Spring is so late in the coming,' said the Selfish Giant, as he sat at the window and looked out at is cold white garden; 'I hope there will be a change in the weather.'

But the Spring never came, nor the Summer. The Autumn gave golden fruit to every garden, but to the Giant's garden she gave none. 'He is too selfish,' she said. So it was always Winter there, and the North Wind, and the Hail, and the Frost and the Snow danced about through the trees..."

thank you, brits.

please.

a glass of wine. maybe a little bit of vodka. just what's needed to loosen up a bit, right? "i love you, chloe." i can't help but sit there and laugh. i wish i could believe you. i really want to. but all you've done is make those words a mere joke. a sick joke, really.

i took a moment this time to look at you. really look at you. it has been so long. too bad i had to sit in a courthouse to even get the chance. i haven't been missing out, though, have i? tired eyes and greying hair. an ugly suit and a bitter misdemeanor. i do love you; there is no doubt in that. but i don't like who you are and what you've become. honestly, i'm pretty sure you know you're like this. and i don't think you like it either.

the thing is, you're not going to change. not until you acknowledge something needs to be fixed. and until you do, you're going to stay like this. maybe 'til the day you die. but i really hope that isn't the case. i'm praying that won't be so. because i really care. i would be lying if i said i didn't. why do you think it hurts that you have never, once, apologized for the pain you put me through?

something i've learned is that if you suppress and avoid and ignore all the people and vices and temptations that are destroying you and ripping away your true person, one day you'll wake up to never have the chance to know who that person is. in place of it comes a sticky, black heart. maybe an icy, cold heart. a heart like that isn't even a heart anymore--just a skeleton of what it was, and what it could have been. maybe there's a few maggots feeding on the carnage.

there is still a way out. i believe you still can turn away from this. but you have to give it all up. every last bit of it. to the One who will do no wrong, will perform no perversion. the only One who can take ugly so far gone and still make it beautiful. even an ugly khaki suit. i promise it's true. he did it for me.

look at me, really look at me, for once. i'm stuck in the middle of this too. i didn't even have the choice. but i'm content. in fact, i have joy in my life. oh, i really hope you will open your eyes. each tear that falls from my eyes is a plea. and then another. and yet another. please.

fish 1 died. sad day.

r.i.p. midas

life's surprises.

i would say so.

excerpts

"'a lifetime for a night'/'there's danger in frustration'/'but i was already gone'/'i want to look at the horizon'/'we're just like you, only prettier'/'take every chance you dare'/'i'm bustin' out of independence; independence bustin' out of me'/'i see the sunshine in your eyes'/'i wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start'/'just a girl born in Dixie'/'you can't fence time'/'nothing last forever...find the beat again'/'would you go with me if we rode the clouds the together'/'there's life at both ends of that red dirt road'/'grab a hold of that little songbird'/'God is good, beer is great, and people are crazy'/'a pretty little girl with a bow in her hair'/'would you catch a couple thousand fireflies'/'cowgirls don't cry, ride, baby ride'"

...of the night, musically.

one more time.

it's funny how when i look at my room, i'm looking at my brain. it is messy and organized. cluttered and cleared. silly and serious. joyous and sobered. it is a pure contradiction. i don't know how to organize it. my being is a haphazard mess. i can look one place and see a collection of the past. or maybe i'll look to the left and see a pile of the present--undisturbed. to the right i see my future thrown one way or another. that one is the messiest, but i don't think it's the worst.

it isn't good that i'll leave right here and right now alone. i should be taking care of this moment. i'm not, though, and that's probably why the future is such a mess. what's to come won't get together if i can't get what's now together. they build on each other. they build on each other.

hello new aspiration

my heart and soul.

kids will be kids | india from JJ Starr on Vimeo.

"I do not want ever to be indifferent to the joys and beauties of this life. For through these, as through pain, we are enabled to see purpose in randomness, pattern in chaos. We do not have to understand in order to believe that behind the mystery and the fascination, there is love."
-Madeline L'Engle

--this man gets it. a note from him: [every child you see in this video is either hiv positive or has aids]