grey skies

i feel peace settle within me whenever i listen to this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bA_oPIU83GY

just do it please.

apprehensive actions

The nervous hand, shaking imperceptibly.

The flickering gaze. It never lies in one place.

Why does a reserved and sheepish self bubble to the surface?

You're comfortable, right? But there is always someone that'll reach in
there--down to the place no one should go.

But they do and it immerses you into a panic mode. What to do? Your resolve
is tumbling. What is there to do? No one can come in.

high in the air.

My bible study girls are my lifeblood for a lack of better words.

They laugh with me. They make me laugh. I can come to them, and I feel uplifted, up into the clouds.

Around the beautifully gleaming countenances, I feel a burst of sunshine shooting through my veins.

And as we read something of pure holiness together, our Father's words come alive. Alive in a manner that comes only when such passion and enthusiasm exubes from those studying a truly living word.

My Jesus, thank you for this.

For the wonder.

For the laughter.

For the blunt and biting words that eat at my heart whenever I gaze upon your written words.

a child's face can purely show me and my emotions.
it is unscathed from the art of deception or facade.

I need it? No way.

You need it.

some days this blog feels like my own personal postsecret

ear to ear

i feel like this right now.

sidenote

I know that I kind of hate being at home.
I know that I have way too much work.
I know that I'm dreading my finals.
I know that some of my dreams will never live.
I know that I won't ever have everything I want.
I know that I won't know everything I want to know.

But I know that the sun will keep shining.
I know that I still have so much joy.
I know that I still love my life.

What is it that I love in knowing secrets?

Beauty in my Whirlwind

I have so many dreams. I have so many, that sometimes I get lost in them.

I won't resurface for hours or even days. They consume my every cell as I enjoy the vivid pictures that swirl around in my head.

I dream of where I will end up for college. I dream of my own house to decorate and design the way I want. I dream of the friends and relationships I'll develop. I dream of the places I'll go, like India or Israel. I dream of my future career, whether it be a makeup artist or an interior designer. I dream of my own family to raise and love. I dream of what God has set before me to do for him and his kingdom. I dream.

As much as I love these dreams, I want reality to become of them. There is so much out there. I'm not going to let it pass me.

"I Promise.."

It's getting better. It's getting better. Day by day, it is getting better.
Somedays, it dips real low, but other days, it rockets to the sky.
Once again, it isn't really effecting me. It's just me living.
I'm right with the one who gave me that life to live.

Each time when I wonder and I stray,
life isn't never as it should be.
It just sucks.

Where I am now, I think, why did I even want to go the other way.
It's so much better here. It's getting so much better here.
Sadness still irritates the wound, but His love is becoming a balm.
The balm--it was always there to be used.

That's a promise.
It's one I can count on,
Whether or not I can eloquently write it out,
It's understood.

I don't want to be here anymore.

	Jon Foreman - The Cure For Pain
	Found at skreemr.com

Silence lingers along every wall, through every door and crack. In a corner, the couch rests under a lifeless life in a puddle of thriving, cold-hard reality.
Sad eyes watch in the shadows as a tear slides down the wrinkles and in the hollows of the skin.
It lands with a deafening plop.
Breathing is imperceptible. Focusing in on the melancholy sight, the eyes watch carefully for the rise and fall of the chest. It's there and a sigh of relief breaks the silence.
It's only a moment, though. And now the eyes are downcast, searching the floor as if the antidote for pain will appear.

the warm water took me by surprise

I've got what truly matters.
I'm so lucky.
It's not even fair.

One Way Ticket Please

It's a place where owls traipse around getting ice cream. It's a place where the Great Lakes taste like cold lemonade. It's a place where you can bleed the evening sky and exhale all the stress. It's beautiful.
I love Owl City.
Adam Young knows my mind, my whimsical dreams.
He writes something close to sugar and strawberries. And sings sunshine.

	Owl City - On The Wing
	Found at skreemr.com

interruption

I have lights shining in my face, and I dislike it.
And in front of me, there are papers strewn about--
ones that should be sitting in a recycle bin waiting for a new life.
A better, more appreciated life.
Instead a myriad of "useful" words wait for my eyes to rest upon them,
eat them up.
No thank you.

My eyes would rather be closed,
leaving room for magnificent dreams.
Butting out people's perfect outside facade, letting problems dissolve--
if only for a little while.
A place where I could climb giraffe necks instead of ladders,
make a friendship bracelet out of a rainbow,
the daisies and poppies and violets weave into beautiful blankets on their own,
swim through the stars and string them together, one by one--this is where I really am.


and its right now that i have the urge to give reality the finger.