day 1

I don't know if it is possible to realize what a distraction hunger can be unless it has been truly experienced. I don't know if it is possible to understand the way the clutches of an empty stomach can consume every bit of life unless the reality has been upon you.

I've never fasted before. I've never felt the necessity to do it.

The other day I read of some choosing to going on a three day fast for Darfur. At first, I thought that the idea was cool. I thought that the people doing this were pretty cool too. Yet, as I read the blogs of each day of the fast, I started to really feel. There is a girl somewhere else with eyes, a mouth, a brain, a mother, maybe a sister just like I have; however, when I have a satisfied stomach, this girl's stomach is crying for just a little nutrients.

This is why I'm doing this: I want to feel something near the same pains as this girl, as this girl's baby brother, even if it is on a small scale.

I've barely made it through my first day and already I'm having difficulties. The distraction that hunger leaves is a hard one to escape. It isn't bad now, but I believe that soon it'll start to consume me. It'll eat away my energy, my focus, my motivation; the thoughts gnawing apart any comfort I lived in. I hope to finish this with more than the knowledge that this is real for people everyday.

It's only in taking on the problem that one can, without a question, understand.

we love art

ART FEEDS ________.

give generously, love naively, be foolishly compassionate.

http://www.myspace.com/artfeeds

It seems like I'm living life by looking through a tilt-shift lense. I'm on the outside, looking out towards the smallness of life.

There is so much happening around me right now.
I'm not sure I really know what's happening.

I'm in this small, enclosed box.
I don't know how to get out.
I have no control over anything. I see it all happening. I can't do anything about it.
It all effects me.

This can't be life.

matchless

Hume Lake. It holds such a dear place in my heart. There isn't anything better than being surrounded by His beautiful creation and singing praises to Him morning and night. He loves me so much. He loves me more than I can imagine. To be loved like that is almost unbearable, but it keeps me living. It literally keeps me breathing my next breath and the next one after that.
But as I stood there one evening singing my love out towards my God, I grew frustrated. Not long after that I was mad. As a thousand voices were making their way up to the sky, mine abruptly stopped.
It just wasn't fair. I wanted to love Him as much as He loved me. But I can't.
How sick is that? I was having a pouting party when I should be telling Him that I'll love you as much as I can even if it isn't as much as you can. Either way, that was a stupid moment.
But later that night as I was going to bed, I realized something. Yeah, we can't love God as much as He loves us, but there is something we can do. His love is so great and abounding, and as children of God we are given the ability to love others His great love. I'm supposed to take the love God has given me and love others with it. <---that right there is how I show my love to God. That is what He has for me to do because He doesn't want Him to get all of the love I can give. He wants the very special people he created to be receptors of His love.